Brie en Croute to Heal a Weary Nation


It’s been a dark year for leadership. A known sexual predator leading the House caucus to protect children from same. Vocal Senate opponent of net neutrality thinks the Internet’s a “series of tubes.” And the until-a-month-ago Chairman of the Environment and Public Works Committee believes global warming is some vast Weather Channel conspiracy, a fairytale concocted in order to jack up ratings.

And no more Molly Ivins to hold the flashlight for us.

In scary times like these, sometimes you just need to tuck in to something warm and gooey and wrapped in pastry dough. (No, I’m not kidding. Hey, we’ve installed the Congressional repair team. Now it's time to eat.)

This delectable crusty goo wad’s a week from my craw, but still stuck in my head. (And perhaps my lower intestine.)

Long a party staple, Brie en Croute is usually topped with a layer of orange marmalade, or a layer of sweet almond paste, or a layer of nothin’. FreshDirect’s version sports a substantial schmear of caramelized onion with a barely perceptible whisper of bacon, and earthy-mellow summer truffles for warmth and hominess.

It’s the truffle that won’t let go of me.

Freshdirect -- launched a few years ago by former Fairway brass -- is a shop-online grocery business with good prices, excellent FD-made fare, and delivery service throughout most of NYC. If loving them is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. Someday I’ll list the many reasons for this, but today I’ll say the one non-edible reason is they obviously employ the best erotica bards in the business to pen their food descriptions. It’s like porn to me. But this one fell short. No mention of truffles in the “about” for the baked brie. WTF? Wouldn’t you strut your truffles, if you were holding?

Anyway. Consider yourself hipped. This thing is truffle-icious. Make ya forget the District of Columbia even exists.
Well. Maybe two of 'em would.

NOTE: The heating instructions have you laying it out on a parchment lined baking sheet, all schmancy like. Don’t sweat that. I ain’t the sort to have parchment in the kitchen, but mine came out just this side of amazing.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Ms. P-Pie,
Nothing to do with Brie en Croute but i believe i've come up with a fix for this miserable political situation we've been in of late and, as you seem to be all over the political thing, i thought i'd run my idea by you....

I believe the answer has been right there staring us in the face for decades but it's so obvious we just haven't seen it.

Does it say anywhere in the Rules of Politics that a candidate must necessarily be living?

I know i'm not the first to point out the uncanny similarity in the challenges facing our great nation today and those facing the administration of Chester A. Arthur. He kept us out of wars, pulled us out of the worst economic depression ever and did a helluva job with the immigration thing. ("That's it...no more Chinese for 10 years")...

I say reelect Chester A. Arthur.

You think something like that would fly?
There could be a computer programmed with everything that Chester A. ever did and any given situation would be inputted and the computer would spit out how Chester would handle it and that's what we'd do.

Obviously, that would clear up whatever problems we were having at the time and as we develop different sets of problems, we could reelect Washington, Lincoln, Truman, Kennedy... whomever had proven himself dealing with the sort of snaffoos we might be experiencing.

While convinced that this is the only sane approach, i have a Plan B, should being deceased necessarily disqualify a candidate....

Does it say anywhere that a candidate must be of the human race?

Clearly, we need someone of great intelligence and great strength of character.
Obviously, if we eliminate the deceased, we are left only with Lassie.

Assuming the species thing isn't a problem, do you think a female is electable?

Respectfully,

-Doc H

Miss P-Pie said...

The dead president thing's already been done. On Star Trek. I can't recall the name of the episode, but I don't think it had a happy ending. Though I seem to remember Kirk got laid. By somebody in soft focus.

And Lassie? Lassie was a pussy and a snitch. I know way more presidential dogs than that bitch.

A female president? I dunno. We seem to like 'em with either a dick or a dunce cap. Preferably both.