American Idol for fat girls! (‘Cept it’s British.) Into the Beth Ditto -dominated world of plumpette national recording artists (the girls may be fat, but the pickins are slim), comes Plus, an all-girl English band being built, Monkees-style. From RealGirlBand.com:
To be eligible for a place in the band, you will need to meet the following criteria: you will need to be female, at least a size 16, have some musical talent and be ready for stardom.
Minimum size requirement! A smooshy-ish singer I once worked with told me the waiting room at the auditions for the role of Hairspray’s Tracy Turnblad on Broadway was filled with not-plump-enoughs comparing notes on how to quickly gain the mandated mounds. I have visions of across-the-pond girlies hittin’ the clotted cream and crisps to pack on the stones. Not an entirely unpleasant vision, mind you.
To be eligible for a place in the band, you will need to meet the following criteria: you will need to be female, at least a size 16, have some musical talent and be ready for stardom.
Minimum size requirement! A smooshy-ish singer I once worked with told me the waiting room at the auditions for the role of Hairspray’s Tracy Turnblad on Broadway was filled with not-plump-enoughs comparing notes on how to quickly gain the mandated mounds. I have visions of across-the-pond girlies hittin’ the clotted cream and crisps to pack on the stones. Not an entirely unpleasant vision, mind you.
Note to Real Girl Band applicants (and the boys who stalk them): Closing date for applications is May 1, and auditions will be held in June, in Jolly Old. The epicenter will be the Marquee Club in Hertford, Hertfordshire. The town so nice they named it two and a half times.
4 comments:
Ya know, Ms P, i'm a pretty open minded guy and i have no problem with people TRYING scams like The Monkees or American Idol. The spectacular SUCCESS of these things, though, is where i get horribly humiliated for my species.
I'm sure that my dog is wise to the fact that i'm a human apologist and i'm sure he works it.
Anyway, i find it odd, therefore, that this Real Girl thing is an idea that i can get solidly behind (so to speak).
I wish them huge success and i hope they'll lighten up on the talent thing.
If you hear more, keep us posted!
I share your disdain for American Idol, Dr. Hewmann, but don’t you be dissin’ my Monkees.
I fully hope and expect the Real Girl Band project won’t be yet another stage for vocal warbling and vapid giggles. I envision a band of smooshy girls with talent and ‘tude, who’ll rock out with their mock out. Fingers crossed.
Let me ditto your support for the Monkees: the process by which the Pre-Fab Four was formed may've been plastique, but the material was by some of the best songwriters outta Brill - and the singing/session playing was plenty aces, too.
I'll have to an ear out for this Real Girl Band . . .
Not to mention the shiny bowl-cut boy hair and the Janine-from-Spinal-Tap tamborine skillz.
(Me too, Bill.)
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