Subway does it again.

And again, it sucks. The new Texas Style Smoked Beef Brisket sandwich smells like a chemical manufacturing plant, and tastes like parking lot. Okay, the nice, executive section of the parking lot. In the shade up near the building. I happen to know it ain't difficult to accurately duplicate the taste of smoke, but I guess Subway felt the regular artificial stuff wasn't artificial enough. And this mofo was dry. The leftover half I had the next day (if you're laughing at the fact I'd eat leftover parking lot, you don't know me very well), was so dry I had to schmear some crab dip on it. The horseradish fairly well rocked it. But still.

I maintain the best that Subway slings is the Italian BMT with (and talk slowly when asking for this part) provolone, onion, tomato, black olives, and LOTS OF EXTRA vinegar and oil, on herb and cheese bread. They won't actually put extra on it, but somehow just asking for extra makes it taste better. And there's something about their v&o that makes me walk past half a dozen real, living and mouth-breathing Italian hero shops (the ones in my 'hood, anyway) to eat Chubway's. Plus, last time they accidentally put an actual, red-to-the-core, low-wood tomato on mine. Bonus!

And no sub missive would be complete without also noting their meatball marinara 'wich is surprisingly serviceable, too. Again, graded on the Upper East Side Italian Joint curve.

But this new smoked brisket? Unless you're Hellboy with a taste for home, skip it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you are fucking hilarious!